Tamara Hawley

Updates

2006-09-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I know it's been awhile, but in my defense I have been without internet for a month which makes blogging a teeny bit difficult. Grant and I are at my parent's house right now for the Cowboys game. Football season is here! As you can tell I am so interested that I am writing a blog. =) I love "The 'Boys" but I don't usually get into a game until at least the second half because then it gets more interesting.

Grant and I have been doing great in our new apartment and we are really getting settled in. We have been very into watching whatever TV show just came out on DVD at blockbuster and this last week that show has been Season 2 of LOST! That's an awesome show btw. But an even better show which we just watched the first season of a couple of weeks ago, is Prison Break. Truly awesome show!

I have been starting training for a permanent position at work which is a VERY GOOD SIGN that they want to keep me, since they have to show me all this confidential material Temps aren't usually allowed to see. I think they are waiting for my 90 day contract to be up (which is aprox. 20 days away) before they hire me on and they want to make sure that I will be good at the job, too. So patience is my motto these days. I am just praying that I learn everything quickly and well and that if God wants me to have this job that they will quickly hire me on.

I have been learning a lot lately about how easy it is to get distracted by just doing stuff (like entering data into a computer) and thereby stop my communication with God. It is something I have been working on and growing in a lot lately. Another thing I have been thinking about, which is related, is about how peaceful life is when we just put all our focus on God. The whole world and us can be spinning in circles and yet if we look to Him we will never get dizzy. He is ALWAYS constant and eternal and still. And when we are looking to Him then our life becomes that way, too. It's a wonderful thought in crazy times, bad times, confusing times, and good times too because He is the only steady and enduring thing in existence and we have full access to Him!

Well that's all my thoughts for now. I hope it was a good enough update and please have mercy and patience with me if it was long winded (as I often am).
Love to all my brothers and sisters in Christ,
tamara

Katrina's 18th B-day pics!

2006-07-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

This was my sister Katrina's 18th birthday! We took her and her friends out to Kobe Steaks on my Dad's request and credit card! It was such a treat and a great time. This place is a japanese resturaunt where they do a cooking show in front of you and you have AMAZING food! Shrimp and steak and rice an sake! We were stuffed full!

P.S. I know that I said I was tanner now than I used to be but let me put a disclaimer:
1. I haven't gone swimming since the last time I made that claim which was about 2 weeks ago, so I have lost some of my tan.
2. The flash light on this camera made Everyone look pale.
3. It is not fair to compare my tanness to my sister's because she tans religiously and in normal light looks like a Mexican these days!

Loving, serving, & apartments!

2006-07-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Things have been busy in my world. My job is going well, although I am still waiting for them to make my position there permanent rather than temporary. From everything I hear from other people it seems like this will happen eventually, the question is just When?! Anyways, besides that ....Grant and I found an apartment! Yay!
We are so excited to have our own place again and the place we found is a great deal for this area. It is a better deal than any other place we found and we searched hard, then all of sudden the Lord just plopped this place right in our lap and it was perfect for us. We love it. It is nice and has a spacious Fitness room, a beautiful pool and the apartment is a perfect size for us. It has plenty of space and a sink separate from the shower which means I can put on my makeup and do my hair while Grant is taking a shower and the window won't be foggy! The kitchen is bigger than your average apartment kitchen and it has a bar counter so it is more open to the living room. That was something I was really hoping we would find. Unfortunately it doesn't have a washer&dryer in the apartment but we made sure that we would be moving into the unit which is directly next door to the laundary room (which has 10 washers and dryers in it by the way) so we have to walk like five steps out our door into another and there we are! Also the washers&dryers don't run on quarters, but instead you put money on a card and it takes the money off your card. Now we don't have to wait to do a load of laundary until we save or scrounge up enough quarters to do one!
We move in on the August 12th and we can't wait!

Personally the Lord has really been growing Grant and I and teaching us how to be good servants to each other and to our Church. I feel that lately I have really been relearning what it means to selflessly love and serve all the people around you as if they are Christ. I used to understand what that meant when I was younger and I am so unbelievable joyful that the Lord is reteaching it to me and softening my heart with more understanding and wisdom.
I pray that the Lord is working in all of your lives and that He constantly brings you closer to Him and teaches you how to depend on Him and love Him with every breath.
I miss all of my friends and siblings in Christ who reside in Oregon. Know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you.

in love,
tamaramara

Once I was blind, but now I see!

2006-06-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

So I should have blogged last night, but in my defense I wasn't feeling very well. Besides that, though, I had a wonderful day yesterday. Do you know why?.........because............

I GOT A JOB!!!! WOOHOO! PRAISE THE LORD!!

That was pretty much my exact reaction when my agent from Express Personnel Services called me yesterday afternoon (while I was sitting on the couch and watching TV doing my best to give over the worry I have felt over not getting a job yet) and told me they had a job for me which would start immediately if I wanted it to. Ha! If I wanted it to? Of course I want it to start immediately! So, I just got home from my first day there! I am a receptionist in the accounting offices of an air conditioning company. I basically open, sort, stamp, and distruibute mail, buzz people into the building, answer the phone and take messages and other miscellaneous office aid tasks. It pays well and it's full time. It is the perfect job for me right now. And I really like it. It is a quiet atmosphere where I sit down all day long and do tasks which are easy to achieve (but time consuming) and the time goes by quickly! This was such a blessing and I know the Lord had His hands all over it. Well that is it for now. I am pretty much too excited to think about anything else.

Matthew 6: 25-28 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.....Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?....Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
Yes I did have "little faith" and probably will again at some point. But God had mercy on me and brought me the Light. Praise God for His mercy and love.

provided for by God (as always),
tamaramara

Air raids

2006-06-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hello beloved readers! Just an update on the job front. I was declined for a position as a Processor at a Credit Repair company. This was the job that I went to 4 interviews for and was told that they want to keep my resume on file and possibly be called in for another interview in 60-90 days when they will be hiring someone again. Hopefully I will have a job by then.
I posted my resume on www.monster.com today and I also applied online to UPS for a receptionist job. I was in the process of applying to another job agency (whom I have an appointment with tomorrow afternoon) when their website started experiencing difficulties. I am supposed to have that application finished online before my meeting/interview with them tomorrow, but oh well! I will check it tomorrow before my meeting and if it's not fixed by then, then it's not my fault.
I know God is just waiting for the right job to open up for me, but I have to confess that I have been struggling with discouragement today. Please pray for relief from the adversary's emotional air-raids on me and a renewed spirit of trust and encouragement from the Lord.
Love to you all!

engaged in battle,
tamara

Interviews...waiting. Interviews....waiting. Interviews....

2006-06-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't posted before this. I have sat down at the computer several times in the last 2 weeks but I didn't know what to say...."I went to an interview today. I will hear back in a couple of days."
"I went to a second interview today. I will hear back in a couple of days."
"I went to an interview for a different job today. I will hear back in a week."
I just was waiting until I secured a job before I posted again because not much has really changed. But I do have two jobs on the line right now and I will for sure hear back within 2 days on both of them. One of them I will hear about for either an interview or just to say that they are trusting Express Personnel Services (the employment agency working to get a job for me) to hire someone good for them. The other job I will be finding out if I actually got the job, and if I did then I will start on Thursday.
Grant and I have been having a wonderful time hanging out at the church and with the church members. Especially with the pastor's family.
Well anyways I have to go watch the 6th game of the Basketball Finals. GO MAVERICKS!!
Keep me in your prayers to get the job that God wants for me.

much love,
tamara

Eph. 1:2 "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

2006-06-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! So I got another job lead yesterday, and catch this: It was from the same lady at church(a.k.a Vicky) who let me know about the possible job opening at her work. First of all, her husband, Steve tried to get me a job at his work answering phones the first week Grant and I arrived. Guess who he worked for? Mark Cuban a.k.a owner of the Mavericks! But unfortunately Grant and I arrived in town a little too late and they had already hired everyone they needed.
Then the next week his wife, Vicky, told me that there might be a job opening at her work to be a Processor. I went in for an interview and they really liked me, but they aren't sure that the job will be coming open soon. There will almost certainly be a job opening up in 60 to 90 days, and before that the job might open up in the next couple of weeks. They won't find out until certain things unfold in the next few days, and if there is a job opening then I am their girl. I will find out probably early next week.
Then just yesterday Vicky called me letting me know that she knows a psychologist who is looking for a receptionist a.s.a.p. and she told him about me. So I called him today and set up an interview for Tuesday! Vicky told me that her boss is still waiting to see if that job will open up soon, but in the mean time she wanted me to consider all the options and get every opportunity available. Isn't that sweet? I mean this family is like determined to get me a job!

Grant is still doing well at Grace Church and of course loving his work! I am transcribing tapes for the Church when I can make it up there. We also got to hang out with some of my good friends from high school last nite and that was a bunch of fun to see them all again. The Mavs are 3 and 2 against the Suns in the series and we are having a great time watching how playoffs unfold.
Well that's all the updates I have for now. Give me a shout and let me know how things are going in your world.

Eph. 6:23-24
"Peace to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen."

t

Prospects!

2006-05-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hello! I hope everyone's weekend is going well. Grant and I have been doing great here in Texas. Grant has been jumping right in to ministry with Grace Church and today was his first Sunday School class. He and Ralph also have some awesome plans for the summer. I am so excited for him and for the church. I know God has some amazing things planned for the future.

So Grant and I have been on the job hunt this last week. We hadn't turned up anything of significance until today when I had a conversation with a woman at church. She heard me saying that I was looking for a job and she asked me what kind of work I was looking for. I told her I was looking for a receptionist or phone answering job or something of the like. She then proceeded to tell me that she was about to let go a girl who has been doing processing for her and therefore the job would be open. Could I come in tomorrow with my resume? OF COURSE! This woman is an outgoing and fun person. As far as I know she has a great relationship with the Lord and I think it would be awesome to have her as my boss. She seemed really excited at the idea of having found someone to fill the position and at the idea that that person would be me! I don't know how much the job pays yet, but I will find out soon. Please keep this in your prayers because it could be a huge answer to ours! Either way I know God will take care of Grant and me as we continue to submit to His will and joyfully do His work.

much love,
tamaramara

God's Puzzle Piece

2006-05-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

Puzzle Piece

Pieces of a Puzzle all fitting together to make one big picture.
Sometimes the pieces look the same, but they're not. They're all unique.
I know my piece and I know the space it fits in. Even if you took the puzzle away, I would still know exactly where it goes on the table.
But what happens when the piece is missing for a while and gets put in another box?
You find it, and the puzzle is the same but the piece has changed.
This piece is familiar, but it's not the same. I don't know where it fits in this puzzle.
Where is it's place on the table?
A new piece
A new place
The same puzzle.

I went away, and now I am a new person. I am God's tool. In this place I sometimes feel like I am still 15 and trying to find out who I am. That's when I used to write stuff like this all the time. And then I remember that I know exactly who I am, I just don't know how I fit here anymore. I need to be patient and I need to listen because God is going to show me where He wants me to serve here. And He is going to make the place for me.
I just need to be patient and to listen.
I am glad that in the last year and a half He has been teaching me how to do exactly that. Thank you Lord for teaching me Your ways, and for only bringing me to challenges that I can conquer, as long as You are in me.

tamara

Back in Texas

2006-05-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

Ok. So it is my Memorial Day's Resolution to write in my blog A LOT more often so I can keep in touch personally with everyone back in Oregon.
As my previous sentence suggests, we are back in Texas.
I feel torn about this.
On the one hand, this is my home and it is also Texas (which is obviously the best place in the world! =) ). I am near my family and Grant and I are in a loving church full of members who understand walking by the Spirit and are always looking for a way in which God is calling them to serve.
On the other hand, I have left some of the best friends I will ever have. People who I have grown closer to the Lord with and who have been some of the biggest spiritual encouragements in my life.

It is going to be a challenge to me to live the spiritual life I have been living up to this point when I am separated from my closest brothers and sisters in Christ (save Grant, of course), and the only way I know how to live here is the same way I lived here for the first 20 years of my life. Whenever I come back, I have a tendency to just revert back to the old me. The me who doesn't know how to submit continually to the Holy Spirit, and the me who only knows how to live comfortably with the people around me, rather than step out in Christ to reach them. I know this is going to be my challenge and it is an obvious way the Lord is going to grow me closer to Him. It is just another reason why He brought Grant and I to Oregon, because otherwise I would never have been ready to face the challenge and learn how to give it to the Lord.

Happy to see family and old friends,
Missing my brothers and sisters,
always learning and growing,
in Christ
tamaramara

The evil non-blogger!

2006-02-12T18:31:00.000-08:00

Ok. So I know I am the evil non-existent blogger and all that jazz. The regular execuses are that I was busy and I haven't been on the internet at all in weeks! I have always been like that and I don't why. I am a freak when it comes to keeping my cel phone (or any phone I am supposed to answer) with me and answering it and returning messages but I guess email never held the same urgentness to me. I always figured that if people really needed to tell me something they would call me, of course I have to realize that now I live 2500 miles away from most of my family and a lot of friends. And when you don't see each other every day to speak about the day's events then email is the best way to sum up a week or a few days of updates. And since email was the first reason I ever got on the internet when I was younger, then when I don't check my email, I don't go on the internet, and thus I don't blog either.

So right now I am spending a relaxing day at home with my sick hubby. He is only a little sick thankfully and should be better soon. I am so glad for today because the last week has been crazy for me at work. Angie is very sick and needs a lot of prayer and since she is out, I have been the one to open and close the store every day. And lets also keep in mind that along with that, there is really only one other employee at Sip so we have been going a little crazy trying to cover all the time. I thank the Lord that He has been sustaining me through this time of trial tribulation, because I know it is all due to Him that I have been able to do everything I have been doing. Angie's family has also been trying to help out and take charge which helps in certain circumstances. I just hope that Angie gets to feeling better because I know she is extrememly uncomfortable and feeling pretty bad right now.

Well that is all for now. I pray that the Lord be your strength and guidance as He has been for me.

in Christ,
tamara

If you don't watch 24, then you don't know Jack!

2006-01-16T02:19:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Sorry I've been m.i.a. Since the holidays I have been pretty busy. Tonite I am up late by myself because I don't feel well and I am having trouble getting to sleep. My hubby is in the bedroom getting all the rest he needs for his first day on the job! Yay sweety! I am so proud of him and excited for him and we are both so thankful for this wonderful gift God has given to us.

So lately Grant and I have been finishing season 4 of 24 on DVD and tonite we watched the 2 hour premiere of season 5! Season 4 was amazing and the first 2 episodes of season 5 are insane! And there are 2 more hours of the season premiere coming on tomorrow nite! We are freaking out just a little bit about this show. I beseech everyone by the mercies of God to check it out. Because, "if you don't watch 24, then you don't know Jack!" This is the phrase on a shirt that I ordered for Grant as a congratulations gift for landing the job. The main character of this show is Agent Jack Bauer who is played by Keifer Sutherland. Grant says that Jack is the best character in any TV show or movie and I would probably have to agree. Everyone should watch this show!!

Well now that I have given my advertisement for 24.... I hope all of you are doing great and are getting better sleep than me! My prayers are with everyone and my babe on his first day!

peace in Christ,
Tamara

Explanation

2006-01-02T10:47:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to explain my last post a little. It isn't about anything or anyone specific. It is just about ideas I have always held and what I mentioned at the beginning: a wandering mind that goes down random trails. I realize this isn't my usual style of blogging and so it caught people off guard, but I promise nothing is wrong. I just sometimes start thinking and I find it easiest to express my thoughts in a poem of some sort.

The feelings this poem stems from come from a lifetime of observations and experiences. I felt this way a lot back in middle school when I didn't care too much about the latest fashion or gossip and so I wouldn't express an opinion. Then people thought I was boring so I tried to form an opinion about the topic. Then of course those same people thought my opinion was stupid or uncool. It was a vicious cycle. Ya know, typical middle school stuff. But besides that I have always been angry when people fight over stupid things or because of a simple misunderstanding and then end up splitting up because of it. Now don't get me wrong, I do think there are certain values and beliefs that are worth taking a stance on, but people get hung up on one small difference and whether from pride or passion they don't resolve it. People, countries, churches, marriages have all split from these pointless arguments and it is such waste in my mind. Why can't we all learn to love each other?

I realize things aren't always this simple, but once again.....a wandering mind with random thoughts.

Well that's all I wanted to say, but one more thing. Please keep my sweety in your prayers because he is not feeling very well. It doesn't seem like he caught my cold but more like he caught the flu or some other virus. So please pray that it doesn't get to bad and that he feels better soon.
Thanks for your eyes!

much love,
tamara

Wandering Mind

2006-01-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things are weird and I don't know why.
I just start thinking.
My mind starts wandering and I forget about the
things
around me.
I wonder if it's
weird
that I don't have an opinion about the latest hot topic,
if they think I'm just
cold
inside or not smart enough to know what to think.
Is it bad that I don't care?
Why submit myself to a
box
when everyone else will just try to turn it into a
can?
I want neither of those things.
I want a door
into everybody else's box so there aren't so many
walls
between us.
Useless trivial walls that mean
nothing
in life.
Why separate over the trivial and risk tearing apart the phenomenal?
Is it bad that I don't care about
things
because I care too much about
the people?

A Few more days left in Texas

2005-12-28T17:27:00.000-08:00

Grant and I have been having a lot of fun down here. We got a lot of wonderful presents for Christmas. The weather is nice and warm. I forgot how beautiful the sunsets are here. We saw a really pretty one tonight, the kind you can only see on flat land. Of course my experience is a little dampened because my whole family sick and they gave it to me! =( I'm hacking up a lung and coughing up a storm but at least I don't have to work at the moment.

Grant and I went to New Braunfels and visited a pastor and his family. They are great people who love the message of Grace. I always love socializing and fellowshipping with with new and different people who also believe in Free Grace. It's interesting to see the different and unique perspecitve other people focus on in their spiritual life when it all revolves around Grace in the Christian life. This couple also has 8 children! The oldest is a freshman in college and the youngest is not quite 2. The kids are all fun-loving, sweet, and very well behaved. If Grant and I ever have that many kids (yikes!) I hope we would raise them that well. Well that is all far future stuff, but it's just nice to think about and it was a great experience for both of us.

We are gonna hang out with some old friends tonight and tomorrow and then on Friday we are on our way home. I will be sad to go from TX and my family but I will be glad to see all my friends again who I miss a lot. We will have our "French Christmas" and New Years full of shrimp! See everyone then!

Tamaramara

Happy Birthday to the King!

2005-12-24T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! Merry Christmas Eve! So we went to my aunt&uncle's house and had lasagna and played Texas Hold'em. It was a bunch of fun. Tomorrow we will have turkey here at my parents' house, open presents, play dominoes and probably play more poker. Grant and I still need to wrap our presents and we watch "A Christmas Story" while doing it. I'm really glad to be back home with my family and just to be back in Texas. There is just something about Texas once you've lived (and especially if you grew up there) there that makes it part of you forever. It's also nice to be on vacation and not worry about anything except enjoying yourself. Well I better go wrap those persents before it is officially Christmas.
I wish a very Merry Christmas to everyone and I pray that God keep you and your families safe and healthy over the holidays.

Happy Birthday to the King!

Tamara

Thinking

2005-12-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

I have recently declined in my relationship with the Lord. I have been looking back at a journal entry of mine where I was praying to God to take away my pride and do His Holy Will in me. At the time I was recognizing faults and immaturities in my faith and asking Him to fix them and take them away. Yet, reading it I find that I was much more mature in my desires and thoughts than I have been recently. Lately my thoughts have been centered on my life and all the crazy things going on in it. Since when did my life center around drama? I have never been a dramatic person and still here I am focusing on all the crazy and confusing things in my life.

I want to start focusing on letting Christ live His life in me so He can accomplish what He needs to do. I not only want to find out God’s will for my life (which is still an important and, I believe, Godly goal for my life), but I also want to find out about God. I want to focus on Him and who He is and what He has done. Everything should be about His life, not mine. I believe that if my focus remains on Him and who He is and if I remember that He lives in me, that through ordinary and extraordinary situations I will remember to give everything over to Him to handle.
I pray that my heart be sincere in this matter and that I will have the faith to endure in this mindset and continue giving my life over to God. I would also appreciate any prayers you all would have for me as well. Thanks.

ever learning and growing in His name,
t

Since we've no place to go....Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2005-12-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

So we're back! Grant and I had a wonderful weekend getaway together as our copycat Christmas present (posing off of My Kinadrian) to each other this year. We stayed in a nice hotel, went ice skating, saw King Kong, saw Walk the Line, and ate at our favorite resturaunt. It was wonderful and relaxing to spend a couple days alone with my hubby doing nothing but enjoying being with each other. He is my favorite person to spend time with and he spent the whole weekend just asking what I wanted to do and what would make me happiest. He is always so caring and thoughtful of me. I love him so much! I hope our getaway present becomes a tradition!

So other exciting news.....It SNOWED today!!! Yay! For a few minutes it was snowing pretty hard and I took the opportunity to call back to Texas and brag to my family. I loved it. Then, we had to call of Life Link because the roads were gonna be to bad to drive on and I was a little sad I didn't get to see everyone tonite. But as Kesha said on her blog today, it is nice to just stay inside on a cold snowy day in your pajamas and drink coffee, which is exactly what I did! Though, I have been needing some more time each week to just fellowship with my friends so I am hoping that soon we will also start up our leadership group again. Grant mentioned going through a Watchman Nee book together and I would be so excited to start doing that with everybody every week. So I have homework over the holidays to everyone who reads my blog (yes, ALL three of you!). You have to figure out what evening is best for you to meet together every week. And have your answer with you at the next Life Link after the holidays.

Well until next time....
Much love and God bless!

Here's to Health!

2005-12-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

Wow there are lots of people here. I am at work and there is a show going on and there are so many people here. But most of them don't want drinks right now so I have a moment to sit.
There are so many people I know who are sick or not feeling well right now. I feel so bad for all of them and I pray they get better quickly. I also hope and pray that I am not getting sick because my chest is hurting a little bit which was a key sign for me last time I was sick. Oh well, I guess we will see.
Grant and I have been spending today and last nite with his Dad and
Stepmom. We took them to the Ram for dinner, introduced them to their first bubble tea, went shopping (and they bought us a few new clothes too!) at the Woodburn Outlet mall and gave them their first bite of Love Love Teriaki. It has been fun getting to spend time with them.
I really don't want to be here tonite until at least 11:30. I want to be either spending time with our visiting relatives or spending time with my hubby and watching the new dvds which came in the mail today. I still plan on doing the last thing when I get home tonite but I just have to wait for a few more hours.
Hope everyone is feeling healthy and happy (or at least getting that way soon for the sickos).
much love,
tamara

Pray for Dr. R

2005-12-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. It feels like it's been months since we talked! .....Oh wait.....that's because it has. Ooops!
So now that that is over with....
So much is going on. It's hard to talk about a lot of it because most of it is up in the air kind of stuff. But one thing happening today is that Grant's Dad and Step-Mom are flying into town. Yikes! The apartment is a mess and we have so much laundary to do. I am at work right now so I can't get started on it yet, but let me tell ya that as soon as I am out of here at 12:30 I am jetting home, waking up my hubby, and we are gonna tear through the place getting everything spik and span clean and looking like a home. Then we can spend some quality time with the in-laws who, I'd like to add, are great people and some of the best in-laws one could hope for.

Then on Friday we have a shipment coming in that is about 500lbs in weight. What is it? .....................Furniture!!! Yay!!! It only took us 11 months up here to get a real dresser for our bed room and a real dining table (instead of the card table and plastic stackable drawers that have been subbing in for the time being).

For those of you outside of Salem, OR I'd like to toss up a prayer request. Dr. Radmacher, a mentor and friend of ours (and the reason we are in Oregon in the first place.), is going into open heart surgery today. He is in his mid 70's and so it basically doubles the risk of this surgers which is already dangerous enough. This man plays a valuable and crucial role in today's Church as a whole. Please pray for his surgery to be completely in God's hands and to keep those who would do or wish ill or evil upon him far away.

I pray that God may bless your life.
in Christ,
tamaramara

Learning and Growing

2005-09-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

There are so many ways that I have been growing closer to the Lord lately. One way is that Grant and I have been growing closer to each other and that is only because we have both been putting our relationship focus on the Lord. It has been so strengthening in our marriage and it has been amazing to see the growth we have both had in the Lord and towards each other.
I have also been noticing that I am more often in the Spirit these days which is something I am excited to notice.
But the Lord has been bringing to my attention, lately, things that I used to handle myself and that I need to learn to give over to him. It used to be that whenever there was something that might hurt me I would keep it at a distance so that I wouldn't have any emotional feelings about it and it was easy to ignore it. But these days I have found myself in situations where the hurtful things are very close to me and close to me often. And it hurts even more because these things are so integrated into my life that they really effect me, which is a new feeling. But I am learning that it's something I need to give over to the Lord to take care of rather than try to stay away from the hurtful things and not deal with them.
The Lord is constantly bringing new things to my attention that I need to give over to Him. And I am so grateful for it because I know that each new thing is just another chance for me to grow closer to Him. So I pray that He will always keep showing me the areas of my life where I keep Him absent so that I will always have a new area of my life to submit to His control.

Peace in Christ,
tamara

Forgive Me!

2005-09-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Hey all. I hate to repeat myself from the past but please forgive me for my absence in posting. Anyways, I'm excited because I have today and the next two days off work. It is a nice break after the semi-stressful week while Angie was gone on vacation. I am also glad because I have a wonderful hubby who isn't nagging me for not doing productive things at home. I plan on doing some dishes here in a little while but I am so glad to just sit at home in my jammies watching some tv and taking it easy. It's been a while since I have gotten to do that and it is nice!

Some cool stuff is going on in the ministry right now. Mike, Vin, and Grant are all preparing for the presentation that will be given at the FGA conference in Texas. They are all working so hard at it and I know that whatever they cook up it is going to be awesome. There are so many amazing things that can come about from the opportunity at the conference, so keep the trip in your prayers please! Another thing going on is that school is going to start soon. It's gonna be fun this quarter because I am taking 2 classes which I really want to take and Kesha (along with Vin) is going to be in one of my classes. Yay! We are going to have so much fun together in our New Testament Survey class.

Jamie is coming over tonite to watch 24 and hopefully Kesha too if I can get a hold of her. So Kesha if you read this before I talk to you then call me! Well I better go and get the apartment cleaned for tonite and put on some real clothes!

Love to everyone,
Tamara

News and Ramblings

2005-08-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I know it's been forever since I have posted, but you love me!
Anyways, my best friend down in Texas, Melody, just got married on saturday and I am sooooo happy for her. She has a wonderful husband and I hope she is having a wonderful honeymoon. I just wish I could have been there to see her get married and everything cuz I know she was beautiful and I just plain miss her! But the good news is that my Dad has sprung for the roundtrip ticket for me to go to Texas to visit everyone! Yay! I am so excited to go see all my family and friends down there. It's gonna be so much fun except for the part that my hubby won't be with me. But fortunately I planned this trip so that it will fall right on the time when he will be out of town anyways and we would have had to be apart. He is going to be in New Braunfels, TX with Vin and Kesha at a conference. So it is funny that we are both going to Texas at the same time but we are still gonna be apart. And another sucky part is that we will be apart for Grant's birthday! =( I am sorry sweety. But I promise we will celebrate when we all get back.
So, Vin is away in Canada right now recording his album. Grant and I can't wait to hear it! We know it is gonna be awesome. I spent the day with Kesha while she went to her wedding dress fitting and then we went to Portland and hung out at the mall. It was lots of fun and I know it helped her keep her mind a little off missing Vin. I hope she and Schmeentzy are doing ok relaxing tonite. Just so you know guys, both of you (Kesha&Vin) are in my prayers.
I also wanna give a quick praise and shout out. Mike and Adrian are the coolest most generous people in the world. Grant and I spent Tues. nite/Wed. morn with them talking about the ministry and all the ways they want to help and be useful and involved. They are totlally amazing and God has given us a wonderful blessing through them. We love you guys so much and are so excited to see what God has in store for all of us together in ULife.

Lots of Love to all,
Rambler

Constant Prayer

2005-07-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

Lots and lots of things to pray for these days. I am so glad for it too because it has helped me stay in constant prayer with the Lord which is an awesome thing and an amazing experience. Ulife is going some amazing places and we are just waiting to see which direction God wants it to go. We also have a lot of school work right now which is going to be due in the next week so there is hard studying ahead. There have also been lots of new ideas about what Ulife might turn into or where it might ago and it is all very exciting.

At the same time all of these wonderful things are bringing a lot of attention towards us from the evil one and I'm pretty sure he isn't liking how glorifying all of this is to God. Which on the one hand is good because we know God is doing something awesome in this ministry which is scaring Satan. But on the other hand it also means we are going to be attacked a lot more than usual. Fortunately we have the Spirit to guide and comfort and be our fortress so it can all just be another way to glorify God even more. It's just another rather large prayer request for all of us involoved in the ministry. And I know through faith that all will be well and good according to the will of God. (isn't that a wonderful comfort to say sometimes?)

One more thing to pray about in my life is whether or not I am going to be able to go down to Texas any time soon. The money isn't there for us and it would be irresponsible to go into any more debt that we can't afford. So whether or not I go is a prayer and when I go is another prayer. I miss my family and friends but I know the Lord will send me in His time which is the only good time to go.

Here's praises to the Lord our God for His magnificent Power and Glory which prevails over all things and for His soveriegnty which has led me into a life of fellowship with Him and constant prayer. Thanks be to Him who saves us from sin and death. Amen.

tamara

Let Go and Let God

2005-07-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have the day off work! WooooHooo! Anyways, I am happy today because I got to sleep in until I felt like waking up. Which as it happens was like 9:45 because I was so tired last nite that I went to bed at 11:15, but oh well. That's still 10 hours of sleep which is about 4 more than I usually get.
So I finally got to go to the beach on Wednesday with Grant, Kesha, Vin and Kesha's friend Amber. We had a great time walking around the shops and buying real saltwater taffy and looking at the pretty blue ocean splashing on the rocks. It was so much fun to just hang out with my hubby and our friends. We haven't had that extra free time lately to do all that.
I have been thinking a lot about walking in the Spirit and what that means. It's hard sometimes to comprehend all of it. Watchman Nee talks about a little girl who understood walking in the Spirit and it makes me wonder if I am just making it all too hard. I guess adults tend to do that with things that should be simple but turn out more difficult for them because have lived in the world for a while and feel like they have a lot to give up. I never thought I would be a person to cling to worldly things so much, but once again I am learning that I am nothing special in my flesh. I am the same as everyone else. Grant always says that when he does wrong things these days he doesn't even marvel at them. He knows that his flesh is perfectly capable of doing something that bad and so much more. I still have difficult working that into my daily train of thought. I know my flesh is sinful and can do nothing good and wants to do all things that are evil continually, but I still get surprised at myself when I do something that hurts Grant and isn't showing good biblical wifely qualities. And I think, "Am I a bad wife? I thought I was a loving wife, why do I do this?" I always forget that in my flesh I have the possibility to be the worst wife in the world. I am completely capable of all those terrible things a wife can do to her husband. But in the Spirit the Lord will make me a Godly and wonderful wife to the husband that I love. And He will make me a wonderful person to all my friends that I care about. I just need to get such easy concepts through my thickhead. Well actually I need to let go of my thoughts and let the Lord put His in. Let go and let God (which is actually a popular phrase of the time which isn't theologically or biblically wrong. yay!) is the main gist of my life right now.

Well my computer battery is dying and the charger is at Vin's so until next time! Let go and let God!
Much love and peace in Christ,
Tamara

Bad Girl, Bad Girl, whatchya gonna do when they come for you?

2005-07-10T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm a bad bad girl who doesn't post nearly enough. Let me take this moment to once again give out a huge apology for my non-postiness. Please don't tell the blog police on me.
All right. Now that that is done we can move on. Ok so I'm at Vin's house with Kesha and she just tried on her wedding dress to show me and she looks like a princess! She is so beautiful! Vin, buddy, you are gonna be totally speechless on the day, let me tell ya!
So I am really happy for a few reasons. My boss really likes me and she has been giving me lots of hours the past couple of weeks. There are also other things in motion which are gonna be helping Grant and I out financially which is a total blessing from the Lord. Also my spiritual life lately has been so exciting. I have really been growing closer to the Lord and learning what it means to truly walk in the Spirit. The victory in my life lately has been so uplifting I can't even explain it. I mean before a few days ago I was doing the silliest thing...I was trying to submit to the Lord rather than actually doing it and thereby attempting to turn my submission into a work! Oh the foolish things we do in our flesh, it's truly absurd sometimes. Another thing I am happy about (that you may have already read on my hubby's blog) is that Grant and I are growing closer and closer together everyday. I am so thankful for the financial struggles we have been having because I know it is one of the ways the Lord has been bringing us together and blessing our marriage. The Lord has also been growing a lot of people in the college ministry and it has been so awesome to see Him working in those people's lives.
An off topic subject. I have succeeded in getting Grant hooked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer which is one of my favorite shows! We have both been enjoying going through those seasons on DVD. And I have been so excited to get back involved in the show. They like have their own language and I love the character development throughout the years. Well enough about that.

I will let y'all go.
love and peace in Christ,
tamaramara

Wedding Pics

2005-06-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

My new nephew!

2005-06-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Praises, Prayers, and Buffy

2005-06-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting at home right now while all the closest people to me are at Sip. And I am also supposed to be working at Sip tonite. But I am sitting at home sick. It isn't the funnest thing in the world although I am feeling better than I was earlier today, thanks to the drugs the doctor prescribed. And I have been watching Friends and now I am watching (ok get ready for it)........Buffy!! I am so excited to be watching it again! It was my favorite show. I have seen every single episode and all of them probably more than once. I can't believe how much I missed this show. I am totally going to get Grant hooked on it so we can freak out about it together. Anyways, it's a nice comfort when I'm home sick.
On another note, I am happy for Vin and Kesha cuz lots of things seem to be falling into place for them. Kesha got a new job which she likes and has benefits. They also have a new kitten (which I am planning on stealing sometime soon!). And They have plans for getting a new place to live which might end up being free! So that is totally awesome for them. I am so glad God is blessing them in this way.
Another thing is that we are all a little worried about Angie, my boss and the owner of Sip. She has been going through a hard time but she won't let us know what's going on. So we are just keeping her in our prayers that she will find peace and comfort in Christ.
Well my baby is home now so I am gonna take off.
Much love!

Tamara

A wedding, a birth, and a learning experience

2005-06-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Sorry it's been so incredibly long since my last post. I was really busy for a while and then Grant and I went to Kansas for his brother's wedding. The wedding was so pretty and we had a great time with his family.
Another thing that was going on the past couple weeks was a backache that Grant couldn't get rid of. It was hurting him a lot and we were starting to think that we may have had to shell out a bunch of money so he could go see a doctor. Fortunately at the wedding there is a good friend of the family who is a doctor and he looked at Grant's back and arm (cuz there was pain radiating down his arm from his back) and told him that it wasn't anything serious. He gave him some directions for taking certain medications and now Grant's back is feeling a lot better. That was such an answer to prayers!
I also just found out that I have a new nephew through one of Grant's stepbrothers. His name is Hayden Ryan Bailey. The mother (my sister-in-law) was actually at the wedding on Saturday and they had planned to induce labor on monday. So it was a little exciting to have a 9 month pregnant lady at the wedding, especially since I was with her most of the time because both our husbands were in the wedding. So if she started going into labor then I was sort of in charge of taking care of her. But everything went fine and she had the baby on monday morning as planned after 4 hours of labor. A brunette baby boy.
So anyways, lately I have been feeling kinda weird about something. I just feel like sometimes I don't have anything to give to people. When I was growing up it was easy because I had money and I could pay for all my friends when we went out to eat or I could always pick someone up to go somewhere even though they lived the complete opposite side of town or I wasn't even going to that place. It was something nice I could always do for my friends because I never had to worry about gas money and I had my own car. But lately since we have been quite low in finances I have felt like I don't have anything to give. I don't know how to cook or make anything. I am not a very creative person, so I can't even think of things to make or know how I would make them. And I don't have the money to buy gifts. I have been trying to learn how to cook and I am learning how to knit and crochet. But I still feel like all I can give is weird looking scarfs and mediocre food. I have been looking to God for some help in this issue because I like to be able to give my friends and family stuff when I can. He has been giving me drive and motive for doing and making things when I can, so I have been glad about that. But I guess it is still just a learning experience that God is putting me through. And when I am able to give things to people that I wasn't able to before I feel really happy about it. So we will see where God takes me with that.
One more thing is that University Life had it's first Leadership Training meeting last nite and although I wasn't able to go cuz of work, Grant said that it went really well and people were really getting into it. So praises to the Lord for his wonderful working in the ministry.

I'm gonna let y'all go now. Take care and I'll try to post more often.

love in Christ,
tamara

The Lord is my Provider

2005-06-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I beg your forgiveness for not writing in a long time. I don't want to make a bunch of excuses but I promise I have wanted to write, I just haven't had the right oppurtunity.

So anyways, Grant and I have finished our Greek exam after 1 week of hardcore studying and both of us acquiring knots in our back and neck. My neck is feeling mostly better but poor Grant still has a pretty bad backache. I have been doing my best to take care of him with prayers, massages, water, heating pads, and Ibuprofen but to no avail. I was really feeling bad for him this morning when his back didn't feel better at all, but then he said "It's a small affliction to have." I then remembered how many people we have heard about who have done God's work with much worse afflictions by grace through faith in the Lord and I knew he was thinking the same thing. I am so in love with my Godly husband. But please lift up a prayer for him that he might be relieved of this affliction.

So, I am really happy because I talked to my Mom the other day and she was talking about how she, my dad, and my sister are all gonna come up here for a weekend to visit me this summer. Probably some time in July. I am mostly excited to see my sister. I miss her so much and I think about her all the time since she is at home all by herself and I really don't know how things are going there but I keep them in my prayers daily and trust that God always has everything in control.

God has recently also given us a monetary gift through a good friend of ours back in Texas which has helped us out so much. It put us over a hump of being able to pay our rent without waiting for my paycheck, which I thought would be a problem every month for a while. When Grant told me I nearly started crying from joy of how the Lord provided for us. He truly takes care of those who lean on Him and trust in Him. Praise the Lord for His goodness and grace.

Well I am gonna let y'all go. Love to everyone and blessings too!

tamara

Exciting Things!

2005-05-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Ok so the third episode of Star Wars is really cool and Very intense. Grant, Kesha, and I all had a great time standing in line and going to the midnight showing of it (once we figured out the correct night to show up!).
Also, University Life has been booming lately. This week we had an entire band who wants to continue playing every week and we had tons of new people. It was so amazing to see God growing our group. It has truly been a blessing to see Him so obviously working in this ministry. I pray that He will continue to do so as His will sees fit.
So the last couple of weeks I have been given a lot more responsibilities at work. I was the "in-charge person" during a shift with another less experienced co-worker. I was the "in-charge person" while closing the store (which requires many more duties than a regular shift). And I worked an entire shift all by myself and opened the store all by myself!

It has been a lot of new challenges which have helped me to see something. I get kinda freaked when I have to take on a responsibility that I am not sure I know how to do, or do well. But lately with work and stuff, I haven't been worried at all about doing these new tasks and even when it gets challenging, it causes me to pray to God even more for help and strength. This new step is so exciting to me because I am learning to trust God with things that happen in my life that are out of my control, and I am speaking to Him more because of the challenges He has put in front of me. I have always been frightened of new challenges that I am not sure I can handle, but lately God has been drawing me closer and teaching me to trust Him with those new responsibilities. And when I am in the midst of a new situation I am constantly leaning on Him, because I know that I am inadequate if I worry and try to do everything myself. I have been amazed at the peace He has given me before and during all my new challenges, and so extremely thankful.
For the past month I have been floundering in my walk and wanting so much to be closer to Him, but not sure how. All I knew to do about it was to pray for Him to draw me closer because I knew I couldn't do it myself. And He did!

Joh 6:44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.

I love this verse because the Greek word for "draws" literally means drags. And it is so true, we can only go so far and then our pride and sin prohibits us from drawing any closer. We need him to drag us to Him. If we can just learn to submit and let go He will give us unimaginable freedom in life.

Jam 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.

I drew near to Him as much as I could and then I just prayed for Him to drag me closer to Him. And as He is always faithful and loving, He did.

Psa 30:4 Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name.
Psa 59:17 O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.

love and peace in Christ,
tamara

Walking in baby steps

2005-05-13T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all,
Sorry that I either haven't been writing or have been writing only boring stuff. I really have been doing a lot of thinking lately. One thing on my mind is that I am so glad that I don't have to keep my excitement in any longer about Vin and Kesha's relationship. They are engaged! And so in love and I couldn't be more happy for them. Yet, I am also praying for them a lot because Vin just went to Israel on Tuesday morning and he will be gone for 2 weeks away from his new fiancee. I know this is going to be a challenging time for both of them, but I also know that God will use it to bring them closer together. They are such a wonderful couple and I know that they are truly being led by Christ in their relationship. I wish many wonderful things for them and the new life they will soon start together.
Another thing that has been on my mind has been my walk with Christ and my daily living. Several weeks ago I was at a spiritual high and I felt a new joy in my spiritual walk, but ever since the week after that I have been kinda going back to where I was before. Although, I do still have the knowledge that brought me to that new place in my relationship with Christ. It's like I just haven't been using it like I should. This past week I have been focusing on this part of my walk a lot. I know what I need to do now, it's just a matter of putting it into practice. I need to be in submission to Christ at every moment, but what's more is that I need to realize that this submission isn't even my doing. It is only possible by God's grace and through faith. Only because He gave me grace am I able to submit, and this can only happen when I am walking in faith and with complete trust that Christ will lead me and God will always be in control with only the very best thing possible in His plan. I find myself often thinking "Oh my gosh, I have hardly talked to God today or barely thought of Him or asked Him to take control of my life today." When I have these moments it saddens and frightens me to know that I was so obliviously walking my life apart from God.

I am so thankful to have people like Grant, Kesha, and Vin in my life because they are the people who help me stay close to God and they keep me always turning to Him with every little detail in my life. Without them I know I would be going weeks without giving a thought to the Lord, except for nightly and mealtime prayers. Grant especially is an encouragement to me as he is always focused on helping me to walk closer with the Lord. I am so blessed to have someone who is so dedicated to personally helping me walk a closer walk with Him.

It also helps me when I see the Lord working around me all the time. Things such as: bringing Vin and Kesha together, helping University Life grow in numbers and in spirituality, opening the heart of a friend who had been lost and angry with pain, leading Grant to write wonderful, motivating lessons, and bringing my good friends and me closer to Him. These things always bring me back to the Lord with thanks and praises, and prayers for continuing growth and blessings. I am slowly but surely learning how to live each moment in submission to Him. I am still a far way off, but I have also traveled a far way from where I started. I ask for your prayers that I will continue to learn how to hand over each decision (from the tiny to the infinitely large) to Him and that I will continue to learn how to live my life in constant prayer with Him so that I may be in constant fellowship with Him.

Thanks for everyone's support, and I pray that God will bring you ever closer to Him.

In Christ's name
your sister,

tamara

Summer Plans

2005-05-03T16:53:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! This is gonna be a semi-short post cuz I have to leave for class in 30 minutes and I am still not dressed for it!
So work has been going really well although I am still trying to squeeze some more hours out of Angie, my boss. But it's hard for her because I am still to new to work a shift by myself and so there aren't a lot of extra shifts to give me.
Classes have been going well although we have a take home final in a class from last quarter to do and we have a take home midterm to accomplish plus watching around 15 hours of class on DVD to finish that same class. Then we will need to take the final. Greek is going well, although we are all a little more behind in class than we were last quarter. But translating the Bible has been a lot of fun.
Grant and I have figured out that we will only have 1 class over the summer and we will probably need to miss the first session to go to my brother-in-law's wedding in the middle of june. Then we will have another wedding in July that we might just send Grant to, and we're not sure if we have to miss class for that one. And then in August my maid of honor, Melody, will be getting married and so I will be going to Texas for that, and I think the summer quarter will be over by then. Unfortunately, Grant may not be able to accompany me on that trip. Along with all our weddings to attend, we also will have my family coming to visit us at some point during the summer. And we are also supposed to have Travis (Grant's best friend back in Texas) come to visit us some time soon as well.
So it is definitely a good thing that we only have one class this summer cuz we will be busy!
Well I better go get ready for class!
Hope everyone is doing well. God bless!

Love to all,
Tamaramara

Praises for my Hubby!

2005-04-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am still a bad girl for not posting enough. Sorry everyone, but ever since I have had this new job I haven't found enough time where I don't have anything to do and I am near to a computer with internet connection. But I do love this job. I need to get caught up in Greek though because I also haven't had as much time to study my Greek and we have been learning a lot of new, difficult, and important concepts.
So anyways, Grant and Vin have to give a presentation to the deacon's board at First Baptist Salem tomorrow nite. The board will decide tomorrow if the guys can speak to the church to help support University Life. This is a big deal, so everyone please keep the guys in your prayers about this! Thanks!
Speaking of Grant, I want to give a little praise about my hubby:
Over the last couple weeks I have been realizing so much how blessed I am to have him for a husband. He has been reading a book lately that has been causing him to grow in his walk and at the same time he is able to discern when he comes across questionable things. Things I would have zoomed over and probably soaked up with everything else and then sent astray because of them. But Grant has a true gift for discerning truth from the rest and I am so thankful that God gave him to me so he can teach me everything he learns. Tonite at Greek class our teacher said that Grant would some day be a great leader of the church. I was so proud of him because I knew our teacher was right. Then after class Grant said that he was worried about that praise because he knew that his gift of leadership was a natural one that he could easily do in the flesh and he didn't want to ever be leading the church in the flesh. I was once again proud of him for realizing a potential stumbling block. It made me realize that we all have natural gifts that could easily be stumbling blocks in our faith because we will try to do them in the flesh, by ourselves. And although we may be doing things for ministry or the church, it would all be in vain if it wasn't by the Spirit.
Grant is such an encouragement to me and he is the best head a wife could ask for. My spiritual life would barely be here if it wasn't for him.
Thank You Lord for my hubby, and thank You for the spiritual growth You have given to him and me lately. Thank You for giving me such a loving, giving, spiritually aware husband. I pray that You will keep me in submission to your Spirit so that I may be a wonderful wife to him. In Your Son's name I pray. Amen.

May the Lord bless your life with spiritual growth and a closer walk with Him.

I'm a bad girl. I don't post enough

2005-04-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, what’s up? Sorry it’s been a looooong time. I’ve been working in the day and schooling at night so I’ve been pretty busy. I had school for 7 hours today and now I’m at work, dictating this message to my hubby while Vin is showing us card tricks. Guess we’re not so busy, huh?

I’m really excited because in my modular class (ancient church history) professor said that because I’m an undergrad student I don’t have to do the paper.

Our prof had a few weird beliefs, but we liked him anyway.

So we have been having a hard time keeping up with everything we have to do, especially housework, but our modular class is over so that'll help.

I'm excited to read this new Watchman Nee book called The Spiritual Man. Grant's been reading it and learning a lot from it. But I can't forget to read the 1000 pages for our History class I still have to do and the 300 pages for Theology (whew!).

So anyways, i'm gonna run, but....

check out the “got life?” link on the right!

Behold! A new creation!

2005-04-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

First off, University Life had it’s second meeting on wednes day nite and it went pretty well. We had a lot of new faces and they all said they would come back next week! Plus we will have a few of the people from the week before because some of them were sick this week. And lots of people from our Sunday school class will be able to make it because we pushed the time back to 8pm instead of 7pm. I am really excited about this. Vin’s lesson last nite was also very good! He spoke about how important it is to read the Bible and know your Bible because it helps us to know God more and more. So that is a big a joy, a big “Thank you, God!” and a big “Praise the Lord!”
On a more personal note, so I had one of those evenings the other nite where I just cried and cried while in prayer. It was kind of a breakdown of my flesh. I came to realize that contrary to what some people have told me and contrary to what I thought myself, I am not a humble person. I have a lot of pride and it is all in my flesh! What a silly place to put it and especially for a person who knows and speaks that the flesh cannot do anything good. Oh, but of course I can do good in my flesh. I am Tamara and I am different from other people, I am a truly good person. I have spent my whole life trying to defend myself and tell people how I am different than others and how I am good, and I realized the other nite that I am just the same as every other human who walks in their flesh. I sin all the time just like others, because I walk in my flesh. I have a hard time consulting the Bible and the Lord about each action I take or each word I speak. I find it easy to consult my oh so special inner knowledge about what I think is right or what feels right, but I don't consult the One Person who knows what is actually good and right. I had a long talk with Grant about how to walk in the Spirit. I just didn't understand what exactly to do to let the Spirit take over. Should I stop and not make any movement until magically my limbs start moving because the Spirit takes over, or what? I finally realized that something I personally needed to do to let the Lord run my life was to stop doing everything without thinking. I need to walk my life carefully and in full submission to the Lord. My every thought should be in submission to Him and every action I take should be checked against the Bible to make sure it is in sync with it. After crying and praying for a long time that nite I just spent a lot of time in the Word, mostly reading about Jesus and the things He did and said. He is the best example to me for how to live my life, so for my current crisis I thought it was a good place to be reading. I am now slowly learning how to live my life in complete submission to the Lord, but I am definitely still a babe in my walk. And although this blog has seemed like I have been going through a hard time, it was really just one hard nite, a lot of realizations, and a new look on the world and my life. I am truly excited because I understand a little better how to walk in the Spirit, and that was knowledge I had been stumbling along trying to find for a while. Silly Tamara, I just had to stop trying to find it and let the Lord give it tome, because He wanted to the whole time. I was just not letting him by living in my flesh. Well I will let y'all go. Please keep me in your prayers, because (joy) I have come to a new and better place in my walk with the Lord, and yet(concern) I still am just starting out and it will be rough for a while.
Love to everyone!

2 Corinthians 5:15-17 "and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, Behold! a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

HEY Y'ALL!

2005-04-02T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! So I am exhausted because I have been working hard at Sip the last couple of days. But I love the job. And my co-workers are all really cool and nice too. It's going to be a big help when the pay checks start coming in which the first one should come on tuesday. Yay! So my days have been weirder lately cuz I haven't been seeing Vin and Kesha as much and Grant and I have just been tired and busy so when I get home from work we just munch around for dinner and sit on the couch all tired and stuff. But I think we are starting to get into a schedule so we will actually be able to be lively after working all day. I guess that's what the rest of the world learns how to do. So I should probably stop whining get to it. Anyways there isn't much to tell, I have been working and not thinking lots although I need to study my Greek because we are in the hardest chapters this week and as it is we were already behind. So I really need to work on that otherwise I won't be at the head of the class anymore, and that wouldn't be fun. I like being the only girl in there and ahead of all the guys. Well, I'm gonna let you guys go. Hopefully I (or life, I guess) will be more interesting next time. XOXOXOXO!

Fun Salem Buddies!

2005-03-31T00:49:00.000-08:00

For everyone back in Texas, this is a picture of Grant and me with our good Salem buddies Kesha and Vin at the coffee shop Sip where I am now employed. They are the funnest!

Trusting God's 20/20 sight

2005-03-29T15:30:00.000-08:00

Hey all! Sorry it's been a while since my last blog. I am gonna try to not let that happen again, but let's face it. It probably will at some point or another. So Kesha and Vin are back from their spontaneous trip to Canada which is cool cuz now we missed them! And I still haven't seen Kesha since they got back and I miss her lots! So Kesha if you read this, call me and visit me please!! The University Life kick-off is tomorrow nite and right now the guys are at a meeting with Pastor Bull to talk about how the ministry is gonna be related to the church and stuff. Easter was very cool the other day because Grant and I were invited to eat Easter dinner with Pastor Bull and his family. That was a lot of fun. Jamie, his daughter, was there and so was a newly married couple who is his wife's daughter and son-in-law (I think) and their grandmother. We had so much to eat that Grant and I barely ate anything for the rest of the day and the meal was at about 1:00 so that was a lot of food! But we all had a good time just talking and enjoying each other for a few hours.
So I have been thinking a lot lately, about my spiritual walk and although I have grown so much in the last year and a half (courtesy of God and my husband) I still have a lot more to do. I have known for a while that my most difficult stuggle is not worrying about what is happening in my life when I don't know what it is. I know what I am supposed to do, I just don't know how to do it. I keep praying that God will just drag my life out of my control when I am acting like this and force me to let him to do it. But then again, that really wouldn't be me "letting" him do it, would it? I need to learn that even if I don't know everything that's going on and I'm not sure if I am making the right decisions, I don't have to worry if I make those decisions in faith. If I make the decisions in faith, he will be in control and he will be protecting me. But instead I worry about the decisions I make sometimes because I don't know if they are the right ones logically, and I don't have enough information to find out if they are. They say hind sight is 20/20 and I find myself wishing I could make all my decisions with hind sight. That is my problem, I want the hind sight instead of trusting the fact that God has the hind sight and his spirit is with me when I make my decisions. I just realized that this blog is helpful since writing it helps me think out things completely. I now realize that if I walk in faith and make my decisions in faith, that means the spirit is with me when I make my decisions. God has 20/20 vision of every situation and his spirit is acually with me helping me to make my decisions. If I just remember that when I make decisions in a spirit of faith, then God is guiding my decisions with his wonderful omniscient vision so I will be making the decisions which he sees to be best for me and my life. That is an amazing comfort.
So thanks to all of you who stuck through my comfused ramblings. I would appreciate your prayers in this matter too, as I am still learning to apply this concept to my life. Peacefulness is a fruit of the spirit and sometimes it's the hardest fruit for me to have. I love all of you! Leave me comments if you have suggestions, help, or just to show your love!

Excited Girl!

2005-03-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Hey Dudes and Dudettes! So I am very excited for a few reasons. One: Kesha isn't moving to Chicago! I found out this info a couple days ago but I haven't written since then, so here it is. I am so glad that I will have a friend up here who is a girl and who can exchange knowing glances with me when the guys (Grant and Vin) are once again going over the top and acting weird. She is a really awesome girl and a stud christian (in Grant speech). She's gonna be helping out with University Life also which is awesome. Two: I officially have a job at Sip! Yay! I start work tomorrow where I will begin training. I will mostly be working in the mornings like 6:30 a.m. since that is what they need and it's an available time for me. So I will have to stop staying up until 4 a.m. with Vin, Kesh, and Grant watching 24 or playing poker. Three: Grant taught sunday school this morning at church and he did an awesome job. The lesson was on having the correct mindset for living the christian life and everyone thought it was good stuff, exept me, I thought it was great stuff! It was the beginning of a series he will be going through over the next month or so. He was a little nervous in front of a new crowd, but he handled it well, kept good eye contact, spoke clearly, didn't fidgit too much and soon enough he will begin to be more comfortable and be his normal crazy self. My hubby really has the gift of teaching! Three: University Life is having it's kick-off meeting on March 30th at 7pm at Sip! Please be praying for us. Four: It's Spring Break! Last nite we got to see Vin play at Sip and we all had a good time hanging out. I am probably gonna see a movie with Kesh this week (Ice Princess) and we are also gonna boil some eggs and color them for easter this sunday, sorta reliving childhood pasttimes.
Well I am starving and our pizza is ready now so I am gonna go eat! Go check out universitylife.org/salem if you get a chance. Hope God is blessing you out the ear! Lata!

Praise God!

2005-03-17T14:10:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't written since my first blog. Grant tends to hog the computer. But I have it now. Hahahaha! Anyways, so some really cool stuff has been happening in the last few days. First off I have a job at Sip now! yay Tamara! My first day is going to be on monday when I will go in for some training and stuff. So that is a big Praise God! Grant and I really need the money coming in right now and as always God has provided it for us.
Another big praise is that the other day we got a few boxes in the mail which made a big difference to us financially and fullstomachly. Grant's mom bought us a bunch of groceries and sent them to us in the mail. Stuff like tuna cans and Tuna Helper and Chef Boyardee box dinners and peanut butter and jelly and these things called potato buds which are apparently supposed to turn into mash potatoes when water is added. And a bunch of other stuff which is just going to be a tremendous help. Now we won't have to buy as many groceries this month and we get other things to eat besides spaghetti, chicken, and ramen! I was running out of ideas of new ways to make chicken. So once again, as I will continue to do, Praise God!
Another Praise God is that my friend, Kesha, just had her wisdom teeth taken out and everthing went just as planned in the surgery. We got to see her last nite, but she was on the phone the whole time so it was a little hard to spend quality time together, but oh well! (inside joke, for those of you not in salem) Anyways, it's great that it all went as planned but keep her in your prayers cuz it still really hurts and her pain medication makes her stomach feel bad.
I am just so thankful today for all the blessings that God has been raining out on us and just how he has been taking care of us here in Salem. We went out on a limb in faith and he caught us. It's just amazing to be going through a whole new level of trusting in the Lord. He just proves over and over to us how He is waiting there to sustain us when we put our faith in Him. And I know that all of this is happening because he furst reached out to me and gave me Grant. I would never have arrived at this new place of trust if Grant hadn't been there to teach me how or if he hadn't been encouraging me to keep putting my trust in the Lord. So just another Praise God for that special man in my life. (And I am sure I will continue for the rest of life to say, "Praise God for Grant" every day just as I do now.)
Well I have just been informed that this blog is getting a little long so I will talk to y'all later. And I will start writing more frequently! Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody!

Clubbin

2005-03-15T14:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I went clubbin'. Here is a photo...

Welcome! First Blog Ever!

2005-03-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! This is my first blog ever and I am so excited to be able to communicate with everyone this way. So if you visit be sure to leave a shout out to me and let me know you were here. So lately I have been trying to keep my eyes open for another job since the home phone answering service hasn't been pulling through, and lo and behold God pulled through. Grant and Vin and I have been hanging out at this coffee shop called Sip which is owned by a Christian girl. We have all been befriending her and she is letting us hold our first University Life_Link meeting there on March 30th. Then the other day just in passing we asked her if she was hiring and she said she might be. So I give her all my info and she called me yesterday morning and now I have a sort of interview with her tomorrow (Monday) morning. Yay! So anyways if y'all could just be praying for me that the interview goes well, I would really appreciate it. It isn't exactly the job that we were hoping I would get in the beginning since it will require the use of the car and it probably doesn't pay as much, but at this point it is a tremendous blessing and a huge help. We really need the money to start coming in so "Thank You God so much!". Well I gotta go do some Greek homework with Grant and Vin as we are about to start our new quarter, meaning we are now in Greek 2! Go us! Love all of y'all lots! -Tamaramara